Never Mind
by illman
Summary: An encounter with aliens leaves the Atlantians, especially Dr. McKay, with an unprecedented problem. COMPLETE
1. Default Chapter

_Title: Never Mind_

_Author: Illman_

_Beta: Jen, who deserves great thanks for putting up with me_

_Date: 01/04/2005_

_Warnings: some violence, torture, mild language_

_Disclaimer: It's their universe, not mine._

_Rating: 12+ for language and content_

_Summary: An encounter with an alien race leaves the Atlantians, especially Dr. McKay, with an unprecedented problem._

_Author's Notes: Written for the lantisficathon on livejournal._

* * *

Carson looked once more around the infirmary before returning to his quarters for the night. For the first time since the out break of the nano-virus, the infirmary was filled to capacity. It was late. He should be in bed by now; it had been a long and exhausting day with six patients to treat at the same time. It was one of the many times that a mission into unknown territory had led them into danger. This time, Major Sheppard's team had been accompanied by two scientists who were to collect plant samples of potential medicinal value. It had been a low risk, non-military mission. Carson hadn't worried too much.

Once or twice a week, Rodney stepped through the Gate, leaving him behind to imagine all the violent possibilities. It had been worse in the beginning, with time he had gotten used to the off-world mission being part of Rodney's job. But every time the team was overdue or there was an unscheduled off-world activation, Carson couldn't help but think this might be it. That they would bring back Rodney severely hurt or worse.

The nightmare he was currently trapped in had begun two days earlier when Rodney and his team became overdue by twelve hours , failing to respond to the several attempts to contact them. Their mission had been a simple one. M2S-639 was an uninhabited world with the Gate located in the middle of what resembled a tropical rainforest. The Athosians had been visiting the planet for decades because several medicinal herbs grew there in great abundance. But they had never been able to stray far from the Gate, as the air on the planet quickly became hard to breath, leaving anyone who dared to come , coughing and breathless. As the Atlantians desperately needed to replenish their medical supplies, they were very eager to explore the planet themselves. They had analyzed the atmosphere and found it to contain high levels of pollen and several unknown compounds, which were probably responsible for the adverse reaction that the Teyla's people had described.

It was supposed to be a short one day mission. Before Carson and Rodney were to meet for dinner. But the team didn't come back. The first few hours, the physician managed to keep his worries at bay. Anything could have gotten them delayed. But as time passed and several communication attempts failed, it became harder and harder to banish the thoughts of what might have happened. Eventually, he went to bed, doubting he would actually be able to sleep, but needing to at least try to get some rest, as he had another full workday in just a few hours. At the moment, he didn't have any patients in the infirmary he was using the time to work on his research into Ancient genetics. To his surprise, he eventually fell asleep. His worry only deepened when by the time he got up the next morning; there still had been no word from his friend.

By then Elizabeth had decided to dispatch another team to the planet to check out the situation. It couldn't happen fast enough for Carson, but procedure had to be adhered to. First a MALP had to be sent through to gate. When no threat was detected, Sergeant Bates and his team went next. Within a few hours, the second team had made contact with the city again, relaying their situation.

Not that Carson was not immensely relieved to hear that the remainder of the mission participants were alive, but the fact that Rodney was missing sent a chill through him. All sorts of possibilities raced through his mind. Aliens having dragged off Rodney, intent in killing and torturing him, or he was lost and hurt somewhere on the planet, away from help in the harmful atmosphere of the alien world. Dozens of bleak scenarios flashed through the Scot's mind as he listened to what they had learned from the team on the planet. He and several other members of the medical staff with off-world experiences were going to meet Lieutenant Devan from Bates' team at the Gate on the planet.

"What's the situation exactly?" Beckett asked the lieutenant.

"We found everyone, except Dr. McKay, at a clearing about two clicks west from here. They were all unconscious and their hazmat gear was missing. Captain Roiz sent out two men to search the area for Dr. McKay. He and Lieutenant Morgan are waiting for as at the clearing." The young man explained as they picked up the pace. Unfortunately the forest was thick and the path, although it seemed to be used on occasion, was not very well travelled. The soil was wet and slippery. It would take to time to carry five unconscious people back to the gate. They were already slowed down by the equipment they were carrying.. Given the harsh atmospheric conditions of the planet and the reports of possible respiratory problems with the missing team, the rescuers had no choice but to bring oxygen with them. It seemed to take hours to reach the clearing where Captain Roiz and Lieutenant Morgan were waiting , relieved to see help arrive.

"Dr. Beckett! Finally. They're having a difficult time breathing and I think they're getting worse." Exasperated, the captain stood helpless, "We couldn't do anything."

Beckett just nodded briefly before turning his attention to his patients.

"You paged me?" Elizabeth more stated than asked as she sat down in Beckett's office.

"Yes, I have your reports and I might be able to tell you something more about what happened on the planet."

"Good. What do you have?"

"Both Major Sheppard and Lieutenant Ford have blood on their jackets and hands. At first I thought it was theirs, but there were no matching injuries. Preliminary tests show that it's not human blood. I'll know more soon. Major Sheppard also has some first and second degree burns to his neck and upper chest that I can't explain yet. Aside from that everyone's lungs are a bit strained from the heavy pollen content of the atmosphere on M2S-639. I have everyone on oxygen and that seems to be working. There have been some cases of allergic reactions to some elements of the atmosphere that we hadn't picked up on in our earlier assessments, but they're nothing too serious."

"Thank you. Keep me informed if you find out more. We need to find out more about what happened. When anyone wakes up, I want to know about it immediately." Rising from her seat and heading towards the doorway, she paused, " If Rodney is still on the planet, how long can he survive in the atmosphere without hazmat gear?"

Carson had already thought of that, once the shock of Rodney missing from the group had worn off. He sighed," Assuming that he doesn't have an allergic reaction to anything in the atmosphere, he has another eight hours, twelve if he's very lucky. But he won't be on his feet for long anymore. The atmosphere doesn't explain why the others were unconscious. I'll let you know as soon as I have more."

He busied himself for another hour in the infirmary, once more checking over his patients before deciding to call it a day. On his way out, he turned to the duty nurse for the night, "Please page me if any of them wake up during the night. At any time." He told her.

"Yes, doctor." The nurse replied. Word had spread fast, and like everyone in the city, she knew that chief scientist was still missing and infirmary's current occupants might hold the clue to his whereabouts.

* * *

Rodney paced the small room that served as his cell, while mentally going over what had happened since his arrival. His captors must have drugged him, as he could feel his mind starting to go fuzzy. The recent events threatening to sink into the murky darkness. Panicky that he might not remember if he let them slip away, he struggled against urge to lie down on the cot that was to his right in the room. The rest of the room was bare with an adjacent bathroom, and it was clean and warm inside. The cot had a comfortable mattress and a blanket was provided. Eyeing the cot longingly, Rodney shook his head and started another round of pacing.

They had been at the clearing on the planet. It had been quite tedious, working in the uncomfortable hazmat suits, watching the two scientists gathering their sample. He didn't think he had ever seen two men work any slower and wondered how they had ever been accepted onto the expedition. He vowed to check their work thoroughly for the next evaluation when he got back to Atlantis.

He had been pacing around, trying to ease to stiffness in his lower back, when suddenly the ground under his feet had vanished, Then it became far less clear in his mind. He recalled distorted faces, screams, and gun fire. His only cognizant memory was of him being shoved towards the mesmerizing clear blue event horizon illuminating a dark room.

The next memory was of being in a bright a room with large, dark claw-like hands that had pressed him down onto a bed of sorts and he had been powerless. He tried to at least find some sort of escape route with his eyes but the bright whiteness had stretched forever. He had tried to turn his head and at least get a look at who or what was holding him down, but even after the claw-like hands were gone, he still couldn't move. Tight straps were holding him down on the unyielding mattress of the bed. All he had been able to do was stare to his left and wait. An eternity seemed to pass while he attempted to calm himself down and slow his frantic heartbeat. He told himself that panic wasn't going to help him no matter what was going to happen. Hours seemed to pass without anything happening.

Then suddenly without any warning, without him hearing anyone approach, he felt a sharp pain in his right arm. His head turned to his left side; he couldn't see what was going on. The pain started out as only a twinge then deepened to a sharp, deep cutting agony. Rodney winced, biting his lip not to cry out. But as suddenly as the pain had come it was gone again. Numbness started spreading from his arms, and before he even realized what was going on, it had spread over his right side. It scared him, as he knew it would completely overpower him and render him even more powerless than he already was, but there was nothing he could do to stop it. Within seconds the sensation overwhelmed him and he sank into unconsciousness.

The next thing he knew was waking up in that small square room that he was in now. He felt fuzzy and disoriented, but not uncomfortable. The urge to lie down was starting to become overwhelming. Rodney sat down on the bed, scared of what was going to happen if he allowed himself to sleep, but his fear was won over by the fatigue that was tugging at every fibre of his body begging him to rest.

* * *

Carson couldn't sleep. He was tired, but his mind insisted on keeping its own hours. It was the helplessness that he hated the most. There was nothing he could do for Rodney. He couldn't help him because he had no idea where and in what condition he was. He didn't even know whether he was even alive anymore. It was only a small comfort that there were still people on M2S-639 searching for Rodney, but Carson knew that their chances of finding him where small. How far could he have gotten from the group? Rolling over once again, trying to clear his mind of the horrible images that rose in front of his inner eye, he tried to fall asleep.

When the shrill sound of his beeper violently interrupted the quiet of the night, his eyes flew open. He must have drifted off at some point. Carson wasted no time hurriedly getting dressed and almost ran to the infirmary. He pushed open the doors and barrelled in, almost knocking over Amy, the duty nurse for the night.

"Sorry." He mumbled, his eyes searching the infirmary for the cause of the wake-up call.

"Good that you are here." Amy said. "Major Sheppard just woke up. He's pretty tired, but you wanted to be called as soon as one of them became conscious."

Beckett nodded and strode towards the major's bed, the nurse following close behind. When he approached the major, the man appeared asleep, his eyes closed, but when tapped on his shoulder, he opened his eyes.

"Doc, what's going on? The nurse told me something about questions you wanted to ask." John frowned, raising a hand to his head. "What happened?"

"Does your head hurt?" Carson asked, concerned that John seemed disoriented and confused. He hadn't found any sign of an injury when he had examined him, but then he had no idea what other effects the weapon which had produced the burns on his chest and neck had had on him.

"Yeah." the major answered softly.

Carson turned towards Amy who understood and left to get the medication before he got a chance to say a word.

"Does anything else hurt?"

"My chest, breathing hurts." John admitted grudgingly. He really felt like he had been hit by a bulldozer.

"That will pass. Can you breathe all right for now or do you have the feeling that you are not getting enough air? I can give you something to help you breathe easier but I'd rather not add more drugs to your system."

"No, it's all right. I can manage." John said drowsily, his eyes closing again. He just wanted to go back to sleep where nothing hurt. But someone was shaking him as he was about to drift of. He opened his eyes and looked up to see Beckett hovering over him.

"Here." Carson handed him two pills and a glass of water. "It will help the pain."

"Now listen to me. It's important. Can you remember anything about what happened on the mission? Rodney is missing and we need to find out what happened to you." Carson hoped that John would remember something, anything that might help them. He watched John closely for his reaction.

At first, John stared blankly and Carson wasn't even sure that between the headache and fatigue, the major had even understood what he had said, even though he had seemed to be able to respond coherently to his questions earlier. But then John frowned and spoke.

"It must have been some sort of transportation thing, like the Wraith, but it wasn't them. We were on the planet and suddenly we were on a ship." John paused.

"Was Rodney with you on the ship?" Carson asked.

"Yeah. It's all a bit blurry. I remember stabbing one of the aliens. There were aliens, you know." John shrugged helplessly. "There was just us left. They didn't like me stabbing one of them."

Carson wasn't sure he followed as John's account got less coherent.

"Stay awake major. Please try to remember. What happened after you got on the ship?"

"Hard to remember." John mumbled. He was losing ground in his fight against the fatigue and pain.

Carson could see that it was getting harder and harder for him to focus. He was starting to sweat and having more difficulty breathing. He was torn between giving it a rest and leaving it there and having one last go it at, prodding John one last time to try and remember what had happened.

"Please, try again. We need to find Rodney."

"Mhhm, Rodney is a friend." John mumbled to himself." They sent everyone back, but he and me. They wanted us, said we were com-, comm.., can't remember. They wanted to send us away. Through the Gate. I like going through the Gate. But I didn't want to go then. Rodney was scared. He screamed. So sorry I couldn't help him."

* * *

Rodney woke up again and immediately panicked. He couldn't move! Not even turn his head. All he could do was see the bright white ceiling above him. Probably he was tied down again. Like the day before. He tried not to panic, but when he heard footsteps and clattering in the distance he couldn't help but fear what was going to happen. He tried to twist, but the restraints held him down securely. Footsteps came closer and he could feel his heart beating faster. He could feel the presence of someone close to him as the footsteps stopped. He waited for something, anything to happen. There, for a brief moment, the dark, lizardfish-human face of an alien appeared in his field of vision, but was gone an instant later. Rodney could hear scratching and watch sounded like something being moved across the floor. A click and something started humming faintly on his left side. The alien let out a chirp. Rodney tensed. The hum couldn't be good. It was bad, very bad. All he wanted was to be somewhere else, anywhere else. The unbearable tension came to an end when pain seared through him like lightning. It felt like something was cutting through his left temple. He screamed and twisted, balling his hands into fists, tugging at the tight metal restraints, not even noticing how they cut into his skin. The pain blanked out all other sensations, enveloping him totally.

He didn't hear the alien chirping and shrieking in surprise as its test subject screamed and writhed. This was not normal. The others had screamed as well, but never as badly as this one. But the others had been very different from this one. The alien scientists had never seen one like this. As the test subject started to gag, the scientist checked his instruments. Another two second until the procedure was complete. He was going to keep a close eye on this one. He doubted that this particular subject would produce the results they were after, but it might prove interesting none the less. The scientists freely injected the test subject with a generous dose of a sedative, adding a pain killer as an after thought. He had learned to be careful. A subject they had recently captured had killed several of his fellow researchers. It had just sucked the life out of them. Ever since then all scientists carried weapons. He shuddered and eyed his current test subject. He had heard the story of what had happened when it was captured. Who knew what it was capable of?

Carson's heart filled with sadness. Rodney was truly lost then. Captured by unknown, obviously powerful and hostile aliens and sent to an unknown planet somewhere in this galaxy. They would never find him. It was more painful than he had ever expected to let go of the hope that he had been clinging to ever since this had started. What had been a possibility was now harsh reality. Although he had been prepared for it, the reality that he was never going to see Rodney again still hit him with full force.

"Dr Beckett!" A loud yell and an almost violent tug at his sleeve were what finally got his attention. Amy was next to him, calling his name ."Dr. Beckett, Major Sheppard is having increased trouble breathing."

Carson snapped back into a professional mode when he turned to the man in the bed next to him. John was wide awake; blinking at him in what was clearly panic, as he gasped for breath.

"Damn, I didn't even notice, I thought he was doing fine." Beckett stammered, just realizing what he had let happen.

"Now isn't the time, doctor." Amy snapped. "Sorry."

"Just get me a standard dose of epinephrine." Carson yelled. "Hold on, major, you are going to be fine." He whispered to John, hoping that he was telling the truth.

Half an hour later, John was resting in bed, breathing easier, Carson was sitting in a chair near his bedside, not sure why himself. He had sent Amy to her quarters for the rest of the night. He was angry with himself for not catching John's condition earlier because he was absorbed with his personal problems. But how could he ignore the loss he had suffered, the thought of Rodney kept sneaking into his mind, sending a new wave of hurt through him each time.

"The symbols." John muttered suddenly. He had been hovering between waking and sleep and his mind had taken him back to the alien ship.

"When they dialled the Gate, I saw the symbols."

At first Carson didn't realize the significance of what John had just said, but then it hit him.

"You saw the symbols of the planet where Rodney was taken to?"

"Still all fragmented, but I saw them."

"Wait a second; I'll get you a piece of paper to draw them on." Carson was excited and disappeared into his office.

Returning quickly to the infirmary, he raised the back of John's bed a bit, allowing the man to write more easily. He could tell that John was having a hard time drawing out the symbols, but he knew that the major would do everything to get one of his team members back home safely.

Once done, he lowered the bed again and patted John's shoulder. "You can rest now major. You have been a great help."

_TBC_


	2. Bright Darkness

Disclaimer see Chapter 1

* * *

Sergeant Bates, his team, Elizabeth and Carson were assembled in the briefing room by 5 in the morning. Carson had contacted Elizabeth, as she had requested, as soon as he had gotten the Gate address from John. Carson was impatient with the progress of the meeting. The sooner they got a team to the planet that was the last known location of Rodney, the better. But Elizabeth had other concerns.

"There is no question that this will be a rescue mission, but just because our initial contact with this so far unknown race was under unfortunate circumstance, we still have to first try a diplomatic solution. In fact we might not have another choice. If Dr. McKay has been taken to their home world, we will be vastly outnumbered."

"Any diplomatic mission should still have adequate military back-up in case contact is not received well." Bates suggested.

"Of course. That's what you and your team will be providing on this mission. I will be accompanying you. We are intending to enter into diplomatic relations with a new people, I should be there."

"With all due respect. The encounter of Major Sheppard's team with these people has shown them to be hostile. I think my team should go alone at first and assess the situation, if all seems safe, you can join us and do the negotiating."

Carson listened, the back and forth between Elizabeth and Bates felt like a waste of time to him. Time that Rodney might not have.

"We are just wasting time here. I agree with Sergeant Bates. I spoke with Major Sheppard and from what he told me, I don't think there is a friendly solution to this. But every minute we stay here and debate this, is a minute more that Rodney is in the hands of some aliens." Carson hadn't meant to speak up so forcefully, but he hadn't been able to hold back in his frustration. His nerves were frayed. It was getting to him, he knew that.

Everyone looked at him, taken aback.

* * *

This time, Rodney woke up and felt disoriented. He opened his eyes, but the blackness remained. The now familiar feeling of fear spread through him. He could move, but he couldn't see. Although he didn't see, he guessed that he was back in his cell. The bed he had woken up on had a fairly soft mattress and he was fairly certain that he was alone in the room. Considering his last memory before he had passed out from unbearable pain, he didn't feel too bad. His brain had a certain fuzzy quality to it that he attributed to being drugged. His head hurt and he felt a bit sick. Feeling something wet on this side of his face, he raise a hand and explored the source of the wetness. The entire left side of his face was encrusted with something dried. A sticky wet substance, which he suspected was blood, oozed from his left temple which also happened to be the origin of his headache. Not surprisingly this was where the pain had begun the previous day. It struck Rodney that he had no idea how much time had passed and, he had yet to experience a normal circadian rhythm. Instead, his captors kept drugging him into unconsciousness. 

They hadn't served him a single meal so far, but he didn't feel hungry and by his estimate he had been there two days already. He should have noticed the lack of food already. His blood sugar should have crashed by now. But if the aliens kept feeding him while he was out, via IV, then there was no telling how long he had been out, he realized. His hopes sank. Days could have passed without him knowing. Atlantis could have written him off as dead already. Escape on his own seemed impossible. He couldn't even see. Rodney sighed and let himself fall back on the bed.

* * *

The cold wind hit him like a slap in the face. Bates had told Carson that it was according to the MALP it was going to be chilly on the planet, but he hadn't realized just how cold it was going to be. He had only taken a few steps from the Gate and already he could feel the biting cold seep through his considerable layers of clothing. 

The planet was a frozen wasteland. They had taken the jumper through the gate. Scanning for any signs of civilization, they located a single dome-like building. Markham had set down the Jumper at a safe distance from the massive grey dome. Now they were all heavily armed, including Carson and Elizabeth who had insisted to come along.

The dome looked even bigger and more impenetrable once they stood in front of it. If their approach had been detected, and it probably had been, there was no response so far. Now the team was only a few meters from the dome and had yet to spot anything that resembled an entrance of any sort. The smooth walls of the dome stretched far without any sign of a window or a door. Clearly Carson wasn't the only one thinking that so far, the mission had been pretty futile.

"Well, that's different. At least nobody is shooting at us. Devan, Young, Markham, Stackhouse, spread out. If they missed as much as a spot of point, I want to know about it." Bates ordered. "Still sure you want to make contact with those people, Dr. Weir. They don't seem to be the welcoming sort."

"If we can get Rodney back peacefully…" She didn't end the sentence. They had been over this already in the briefing. She knew the sergeant didn't believe there was a friendly solution to this and she was getting less and less convinced by the minute.

Bates was just about to reply when the trio disappeared in a bright glow of white light.

* * *

The scene was now frighteningly familiar. Rodney woke once again to darkness. He didn't remember passing out before. This time, the ground beneath him was hard and cold. Stone, not metal and he could move. Carefully, he sat up and started to feel around when the darkness started to lift. First it was just a weak ray of blue light above him, then the ray started to brighten until the room was filled with an eerie blue glow. The room was bare, except with a Stargate on the far wall. Rodney didn't trust his eyes at first, but then got to his feet and carefully approached it. He shivered and could swear that he had just felt a gust of icy wind rush past himself. There was no wind in closed room. But when he looked up, he was suddenly standing under the black night sky, a scatter of stars far above. Beyond the Gate a seemingly endless dark grey plane stretched into the darkness. Rodney stopped, confused and frightened. This wasn't real. This had to be some kind of trick. He rubbed his head. The pain was back in full force, radiating from his temple all through his head. 

"Rodney, there you are! We have been looking for you!" Rodney heard John's voice carry through the distance and turned around.

Aiden, Teyla and John were standing there, walking towards him.

A sharp pain lanced through Rodney's head and for a moment all went black again. Then he was back outside in the night. His team mates were standing next to him now and he felt a warm blanket over his shoulders.

"Let's go, who knows when they are going to be back." Ford urged. McKay wondered whether they were the alien that he held him prisoner. But why had they let him go. Or did they just want to make him believe that they let him go. This wasn't real, he reminded himself, shaking off the blanket. He immediately missed the warmth, but resisted the urge to pick it back up and didn't take it when Teyla held it out, offering it to him.

The group started to move towards to Gate, but he didn't budge.

"What wrong Rodney? We are going home, back to Atlantis. It's all right." John reassured him, reaching out a hand to grab his arm. Rodney shook him off.

"No." He was going to be sick, if he didn't pass out from the pain in his head before that. He grabbed his head with both hands, not even noticing the gesture. The night sky flickered again and the ceiling of the blue light room became visible for several moments, before the illusion was re-established. Nothing had been real, he was still all alone. Rodney sank to his feet and closed his eyes.

* * *

For a moment Carson thought he was going to be sick, something he desperately wanted to avoid in front of Elizabeth and Bates. But even as he thought of the embarrassment, the dizziness faded fast and the ground beneath his feet solidified. He opened his eyes and found himself in new surroundings. Instead of standing in front of the concrete fortress, he and his companions stood in what resembled a gym, just it was all painted in blinding white. Walls, floor, ceiling. Everything was white. 

"Is everyone all right?"

"Yes, I'm okay." Elizabeth replied.

"Our weapons are gone."

"Oh." He hadn't noticed until Bates mentioned it. He wasn't used to walking around armed. He would never understand how Rodney could do it.

A shrill, definitely non-human voice coming from somewhere above their heads halted their conversation. It spoke in a mixture of chirps and short shrieks. Then there was a pause. Maybe they were supposed to say something. Elizabeth tried anyways.

"We don't understand you. We have come in peace."

The voice from above returned immediately. Elizabeth's attempt at making conversation with the aliens hadn't been received well it seemed. This time the voice was even shriller, the shrieks came at a higher pitch, sounding much more unpleasant before. Elizabeth scowled. She had read Daniel Jackson's reports. When he did something like that, it usually worked. But then, he had never gotten chirped at as far as she recalled. The voice fell silent again, but this time, she kept her mouth shut.

They were being manhandled down an equally white and brightly lit corridor. Their hosts had let them stew for about an hour before three lizardfish-human goons had appeared and roughly dragged them off. Carson was scared. When he had pressed to come along on the rescue mission his main motive had to be to help Rodney in case he needed medical attention. He hadn't given too much thought to the dangers of the mission. Sure, he knew that they were heading into hostile territory, but thinking about it was quite different to actually being dragged off to an uncertain fate by creepy aliens.

Suddenly a gunshot went off and the grip on his arm vanished. Instantly, Carson dove for the floor. Four more shots followed, mixed with thuds, shrieks and a cry.

Carson looked up and saw four aliens on the floor, obviously dead. Bates was also down, a signed patch in the chest area on his uniform.

As Carson rolled over knelt down next to Bates and felt for a pulse, the sergeant already started stirring and opened his eyes.

"Doctor?" he said weakling, seeming a bit confused.

"You have been shot. Can you get up?"

"Shot! I don't feel like I was hit." Bates was confused but scrambled to get to his feet was Beckett's help. Carson thought it best to keep Bates' gun for the moment.

"We have to hurry." Carson urged the still confused man. "Down that corridor." He decided randomly. The alien structure was like a maze, with corridors going off in all directions. God help them if they ever wanted to find their way out again.

Bates shot a look at the three dead aliens and the blood on his and Elizabeth's clothes, but thought better than to ask question. He followed Carson and Elizabeth down the corridor. They turned a corner when Bates' radio came to life.

"It's Lieutenant Devan, sir. We found a tunnel entrance. There was a force field, but Markham managed to disable it. Markham and I are coming in now. How is your situation?"

Bates didn't quite know what to say, he was still trying to piece together what had gone down in the corridor. Carson took over. "Be careful. We were attacked by a few of the aliens and had to return fire."

The creature had been pointing his gun at Elizabeth. Carson didn't have a choice but to fire. He was amazed that his first shot hit the alien square in the chest, spattering black blood on the immaculate white walls. He stared down at the body, lowering the gun, his hand already starting to shake. Bates, even though still affected by having been wounded earlier, was a practical man, he rushed towards it corpse and searched the pockets of his coat, producing what looked like a key card.

"We don't have time, doctor." He took the gun from Carson and grabbed him by the shoulder. "We have to hurry; I'm surprised nobody has found us yet. Those must be some sort of cells." He pointed to the numerous doors that lined both sides of the corridor that the alien had come from. Each door had a small window. The three hurried down the corridor, glancing into every cell looking for the one that held Rodney.

Three quarters down the way, Elizabeth found him. She waved the men over. With the key card, the door opened silently.

Rodney was sitting on the bed, his arms wrapped around his knees. His head shot up at their entrance, but instead of joy, they only saw horror and fear on his face.

TBC


	3. Shining

Disclaimer see Chapter 1

* * *

Carson wanted to reach out and make sure his friend was real, but this was hardly time or the place. Instead he quickly forced himself to slip back into professional mode and ran his eyes over Rodney's shaking body. Their missing scientist had dried blood all over the left side of his face making It impossible to tell the extent of the actual injury, but it looked like the blood had come from a wound on his temple. A head injury that was always bad news. It might explain part of what they were seeing. Carson refused to think about any other possible explanations.

"I don't want to rush you doctor, but the sooner we get out of here, the better." Elizabeth whispered.

Beckett nodded, not realizing he'd hesitated because he had been afraid of hurting Rodney and having his friend fear him. Gingerly he approached the man on the bed watching. Rodney curl up tighter at his approach and ignore his soothing words.

"It's us Rodney, Dr. Weir, Sergeant Bates and me. We are going to take you back to Atlantis. But we have to hurry a bit. You are going to be safe."

For a moment, Rodney leaned into his direction, as if he was thinking about trusting him, then crawled back on the bed as far as he could. Beckett reached out an arm, touching Rodney softly.

He was being touched. He couldn't escape the hand. It was better than being tied down, much better. But still he couldn't escape either. He was against the wall. Fingers closed around his wrists, tugging at him, wanting him to leave the bed and follow the hand. The grip on his arm was firm, but not hard. The voice was there again, that voice that sounded so familiar, like Carson. But he couldn't be sure. They could be in his head, he had seen that before, they knew what Atlantis was like, and they could manipulate him all they wanted. He couldn't keep any secret from them. He was a security risk. They hadn't even needed to torture him. He wouldn't give in to whatever this game was. He was torn between fighting off his unseen enemies and giving into the pain in his head and the exhaustion that was calling to him, tempting him to just lie down and sleep, waiting for the pain to get better.

Rodney's resistance was weak, making Carson shove his personal concern aside and pull his friend to the edge of the bed. His professional eye took in the bruised and recently cut wrists, the shallow cuts probably stemming from Rodney struggling against restraints for a considerable length of time. The cuts were red and infected. He could now get a closer look at Rodney's face and saw that there was indeed a wound at his temple, but the dried blood obscured any details. Rodney's unfocussed eyes concerned him, he didn't seem aware of the presence of his team mates at all as Carson pulled him to his feet. Rodney stood surprisingly steadily. Still Carson thought it better to wrap an arm around the man's waist to support him, especially since they had to hurry later.

"We're ready to go here." He announced and moved towards the door with his reluctant patient in tow, who weakly fought him every stop of the way.

The group moved back the same way they had come, trying to avoid getting lost in the maze of corridors of the alien facility. They were down two corridors when a deafening high-pitched alarm sounded that was almost painful to the human ear. Almost immediately footsteps followed from the direction they had intended to take. Forced to change plans, they had to head down a random corridor. Everything looked the same. Bates lead the way, Elizabeth followed and Carson fought to keep up while dragging along Rodney whose resistance seemed to diminish, but so did his strength. He was more and more becoming a dead weight to be dragged along, and soon would need to be carried. The footsteps behind them came closer and as they rounded a corner and Carson heard two shots ring out somewhere behind him. Not wasting any time to turn around, he frantically tried to step up the pace. Bates and Weir were almost a corridor length ahead, but were waiting at then next corner.

Something was happening. Suddenly Bates and Weir were coming running towards him and he realized they were cornered and he had the only gun. He released his grip on Rodney and tossed Bates the weapon, hoping that the man had recovered enough to hit his target. Without anyone holding him up, Rodney had collapsed into a heap on the ground. Carson felt for a pulse and was pleased to find it strong and steady. He was ducking on the ground next to Rodney when the shots were fired overhead.

There was a moment's silence.

"Fuck," he heard Bates say

He looked up to see what was going on at precisely the wrong moment. Before he knew what was happening Markham dragged him through the tunnel as the aliens fired shots after them, but for some reason didn't follow them, as if they didn't want to risk having to leave the building.

Carson had been on his feet within minutes of the shot hitting him in the shoulder, but the confusion hadn't worn off so quickly. While Devan had been carrying the unconscious Rodney, Bates was now armed with Devan's P90 and was providing cover fire; the group had made their way out of the alien structure without too many problems. Their weapons power was vastly superior to that of the aliens. And strangely, their attackers didn't appear too concerned about them breaking out Rodney.

* * *

"Ow. That just hurt." Carson complained.

"You should know, doctor. There is no other way to do it. Now hold still. The local will start kicking in any second, but it's still going to sting."

Dr. Woods set about cleaning Carson's 'gunshot' wound from remains of singed fabric and dead skin. The uniform had borne the brunt of the damage. The burns caused by the alien energy weapons were only first and second degree burns and remained localized to the point of impact. Both he and Bates had the pleasure of having their burns cleaned and dressed.

Carson had stabilized Rodney first thing after coming back through the gate. Only once he was assured that Rodney was stable for the moment, he gave into Dr. Woods and had his wound treated. He knew that she would like to keep him in to infirmary for at least 24 hours once she heard about the confusion caused by the alien weapon, but so far she didn't know and Beckett doubted that Bates was eager to spend time in the infirmary.

* * *

Rodney lazily opened his eyes and to his surprise he saw blurred white-ish shapes floating above his head. Home. The infirmary in Atlantis, his brain supplied. This was what the composite impression of white, medicinal smells and soft humming and muted voices summed up to. His head didn't hurt anymore, the pain that had been his constant companion for he didn't know how long, was gone. He was surprised at how calm he felt. Probably whatever Carson had given him was having something to do with that. His memory of his rescue from the alien prison consisted only of separate images. He recalled being in his cell, and voices suddenly filling the small space. He had been so scared, afraid to believe that it was real.

A face-like, oval structure appeared in his field of vision too blurry to recognize, but it didn't take much to guess that it was Carson standing at his bedside.

"I see you have finally decided to rejoin us. How are you feeling?"

"Not too bad. My eyes are fuzzy and I can't see right." Suddenly Rodney was afraid that his eyes might not get any better. Sure, it was a step up from total blindness. He wasn't totally helpless like this, but he was still impaired.

"I can't give you a hundred percent answer, but as far as I can tell, it will clear up within the next few days." Rodney could hear Carson sit down on his side. There was something in the man's voice that told him that there was more. "The alien's that held you prisoner were very advanced medically. I can't tell you why they did what they did; I don't even understand all of it." Carson hesitated, not sure whether it was the right time to have this conversation. Rodney had just woken up and given how he had reacted when they had rescued him, he was worried about his mental stated. He had him on a mild sedative, but still, maybe he should just give him more time.

"Just tell me, Carson. I'm not the major who whines at a paper cut."

"Aren't you confusing the two of you?" Carson was still relieved at his friend's lame attempt at humour.

"Never. Now, out with it."

"When we did an MRI and found a very small implant in the centre of your brain. I don't know completely how it works; my theory is that it works via a virus that you have been infected with. At the moment however it doesn't seem to be doing anything. We have tried almost all of the anti-viral drugs that we have brought with us, but the it's nothing that I have ever seen on Earth. I have run it through the medical database we brought with us, but there isn't even a remote match." Carson looked down at his hands. He had always hated that part of his job. At least when he had been working on Earth he had never had to bring bad news to a close friend, or someone who was even more than a close friend. And the worst part was yet to come. He looked at Rodney, who was looking at him, somewhat unfocussed, but still clearly attentively. "The virus isn't fatal immediately, but from the simulations I've had time to run, it appears to be in the long term; possibly two to three, maybe four years. You should go back to earth."

"Of course we are going back there." John said and looked around the briefing room. "We can't just sit there and do nothing. If there is a cure for the virus, we have to try and get there."

* * *

The entire team was back on duty again, including Rodney, who had insisted that while Carson could not find any sign of impaired health at the moment, he could remain on active duty. Elizabeth looked less than happy at John's proclamation. She understood his position, but their previous contact with the aliens had gone less than well. There would be no peaceful encounters in the future. "Major, you have read the reports from the previous missions."

"I have. But we are talking about a member of my team and we need to go back to the planet. I'm not going to order anyone to go back." John said. He was going to go back to the planet where Rodney had been held no matter what Elizabeth had to say. It was the right thing to do. They needed to do this for Rodney.

"I'm with you, Sir." Ford said.

"So am I." Teyla added.

The major smiled, he had expected nothing less. He turned back to Elizabeth waiting to see if she'd changed her mind.

"You have a go, but only if the MALP we send back shows no sign of immediate hostility."

TBC


	4. Dawn

Disclaimer see Chapter 1

* * *

Twenty four hours later they left Atlantis knowing that their mission was risky. Their only advantage was their superior firepower. It was a desperate move, they had to do it. Carson had been against Rodney joining the mission, but the scientist could not let his friends and team mates go alone on a mission they only undertook on his benefit. He still felt fine, the implant did nothing so far and the virus was far off from causing him any problems. His other injuries had well healed by then.

* * *

They emerged on the other side of the Gate. It was night on the planet, a strategic choice they had made to gave them a slight additional advantage, as the flat terrain offered little opportunity to disguise their approach. John piloted the Jumper towards the same coordinates where Bates' team had landed on their prior mission to the planet. Rodney was keeping an eye on the sensor readings, comparing them with those of the previous mission.

"This is odd," he pointed out, "the energy readings are spiking much higher than they did the last time a team were here."

"Weapons?" John asked, ready to change course.

"I don't think so, but maybe we should set down a bit further away. It could simply indicate a stronger force field. After we blew up their last one they might have upgraded."

Five minutes later, John landed the Jumper on the frozen ground and they started moving towards the unseen structure that according to Rodney's scanner was straight ahead. They moved slowly, aware that they might have already been spotted by their enemies.

The structure was already visible in the faint moonlight when Rodney stopped. "Stop! Don't move!" he yelled as loud as he dared. The structure they were walking towards wasn't real; it was a projection, most likely a trap. There was so much energy; it was almost off the scale.

John and Aiden had been ahead of Rodney, their heads whipped around as they stopped in their tracks but it was too late. An explosion of sound shattered the silence of the night and the sky lit up in fire. The impact with the frozen ground knocked the wind out of him and Rodney watched in slow motion as the wall of fire raced towards them. They were too damn close. John and Aiden were lying about thirty feet ahead of him on the ground, not moving and he feared the fire would kill them, and then reach him. Anger flared up inside Rodney. He hadn't come here to walk into a trap. Closing his eyes, he damned the aliens to hell for all they had done.

* * *

"Rodney, come on Rodney, wake up!" John's voice filtered through the haze in Rodney's mind. His head was spinning like a carousel set on double speed. He tried to recall what had happened but came up blank. He remembered a mission briefing. Had they already gone on the mission?

"Rodney? Beckett is going to kill me, if I bring you back unconscious." John's voice returned.

Rodney did John a favour and opened his eyes, seeing his friend hovering over him, looking worried.

"Are you all right?"

"My head. What happened?" Rodney went for the direct approach, he really had no idea what had happened, although he guessed that they had had another mission mishap.

"We walked into a trap. It's a miracle we didn't get killed. We were just waiting for you to come around; we are ready to fly back to Atlantis if you feel up to it."

"I think I'm going to be fine." Rodney "I'd rather not be on the receiving end of your first aid skills." He sat up and was rewarded with dizziness. "Did anyone else pass out?"

"I think everyone got knocked out." John replied. "You just took your sweet time coming to."

* * *

All their mission reports turned out to be fairly similar. John, Aiden and Teyla reported that they had been knocked down by some sort of shockwave. Rodney was the only one to mention the explosion. He did not mention that they should have been killed by it. It didn't make any sense.

* * *

Rodney suspected something was wrong and next day at the mess hall, he grabbed one of the Athosian cookies. Most people steered clear of them for itt was public knowledge that they were hard as stone, but he didn't plan on eating it. After finishing his meal, he went back to his quarters and locked himself in. Placing the cookie on the table, he tried to concentrate. He didn't know on what to concentrate. He tried focussing on the cookie, but after ten minutes, nothing had happened. His frustration was rising. He started pacing around the room. Maybe he was doing it all wrong. He thought back to the explosion. He hadn't thought about the wall of fire moving towards him. He had been angry, angry at the alien. Summing up his concentration, he put all his frustration together and focussed it at the harmless cookie. Sure enough the cookie slammed into the nearby wall and fell down and the table. It hadn't even broken. Rodney wondered what the Athosian put into their cookies. Cement maybe?

* * *

"Area 51 has far more resources available to find the right treatment for Rodney. I'm no specialist when it comes to virii. He should go back to Earth." Carson said strongly.

Their next scheduled contact with Earth was coming up in a week. Rodney had refused to go back to Erath voluntarily, so Carson had decided to take the issue to Elizabeth to get her to order Rodney to go back. After they had been unable to contact the alien that had infected Rodney with the virus, they had to rely on their own resources for treatment.

"Carson is right, Rodney. You should go back to Earth, at least for a while." Elizabeth really didn't want to order Rodney when his mind was set against going back to Earth. She didn't know why he was so resistant about leaving Atlantis however. Sure, his work and his friends were here, but the Rodney she knew had a healthy sense of self-preservation.

"Yes. The doctors back home can give you a far better assessment than I. They can also get you started on a drug regimen to try and lower the viral load in your blood. You might be able to come back after a few months." Carson didn't want to send Rodney away, but when it meant that sending his friend to Earth could possibly cure him; he would push Rodney for as long as it was necessary, until he gave in.

Rodney was angry;, not so much at Elizabeth, but at Carson. He had tried to explain to him, but the doctor hadn't listened. Ever since his return from the alien planet, things hadn't been the same between them. At first, he had thought Carson was just giving him time, but now, he got the feeling that his friend had wanted to push him to go back to Earth all along. Hadn't he listened at all the previous night?

_Rodney knocked at Carson's door. It was late, but he knew that the Scot stayed up until past midnight even when he was not busy working in the infirmary. His research kept him up when emergencies didn't. The huge medical database they had brought from Earth provided endless reading material for his genetics studies._

_His knock was answered and he was hesitant to enter. Carson had never been to see him lately, it was always he who sought out Carson. He was starting to ask himself whether he was the only one who perceived their friendship as this close._

"_I didn't expect you this late, Rodney. Shouldn't you be getting more sleep? I told you to rest for the next few days." Carson greeted him._

"_Have I ever listened to you?" Rodney joked, trying to lighten the situation before he came to the serious part._

"_Come, sit down."_

_They settled on what passed as a couch. After some small talk about recent gossip and their respective days, Rodney came to the issue at hand._

"_Carson, I can't go back to Earth."_

"_Why? You have to go back. I can't treat you here, you know that."_

"_I know. But I can't tell you why I can't go back. I really can't. Trust me on this. It's better for both of us if you don't know."_

"_If I don't know what? Everything you tell me is confidential; I can't tell anyone else if you tell me in confidence."_

"_You won't be able to keep this a secret. Please, just listen to me; I cannot go back to Earth next week."_

"_I thought you trusted me. Please, Rodney, trust me with this. Whatever it is, unless it is a danger to the City or to your life, I will not tell anyone else about it. But you need to go to Earth. I can't think of a reason why you couldn't go."_

"_You want me to trust you? I ask the some from you. Trust me on this, you don't want to know. No one on Earth can know either. I can't go back there." Rodney was becoming agitated._

"_Calm down and explain already. There has to be a way to straighten this out and, I'm taking this to Weir tomorrow. If you won't tell me, maybe you'll tell her. Otherwise you are going to Earth. It's for your own good." _

A new wave of anger and hurt welled up inside him as he remembered what happened next.

A loud crash of breaking glass interrupted his thoughts. His eyes darted around the room before he found the source of the broken glass; he heard footsteps and people talking all at once. He spied the shattered remains of the door of the briefing room and rushed across the room.

Carson was on the floor, bleeding from numerous small cuts. Elizabeth, Dr. Grodin and various people are kneeling and standing around the scene, asking Carson whether he was all right and wondering what had happened. Rodney had a pretty good idea what had happened. He had gotten angry again. Carson sat up, groaning and locked eyes with Rodney. He knew, or at least suspected what had happened.

"You threw me through that bloody door." Carson accused.

Rodney was sitting on a stool opposite Carson who had just been patched up by Dr. Woods.

"I'm sorry. I didn't do it on purpose." That was all Rodney had to say. He had no explanation and his position on going back to Earth was not going to be changed by the incident. He needed to go back to his quarters, to enjoy the peace for as long as it was going to last. There were going to be questions. Dr. Weir and Sergeant Bates would want to grill him about causing Carson to go through a door. The scientists would take him apart because he could move things with his mind. It would be bad on Atlantis. But it would be much worse back on Earth. Rodney had no illusions, he was dangerous. A walking weapon. He was going to get locked up and never see the light of day again. He secured the door to his room and slid down the wall. He wasn't going to get out of this one. Damn aliens. His wastebasket slammed into the wall.

Carson considered calling security after Rodney fled the infirmary, but decided against it. He had seen first hand what an angry Rodney could do; brining security into this would only serve to escalate the situation. He pushed himself off the table and tugged his shirt back on. There were only two places Rodney could have gone in this situation, either his lab or his quarters. Somewhere where he felt safe and could lock himself in.

Carson hadn't gone ten steps out of the infirmary when he met Elizabeth.

"Where is Rodney? What happened in the briefing room?"

"I don't have time to explain. Rodney ran off to his quarters, I suspect. It's very dangerous to upset him right now. Don't call security." Carson wasn't sure he was making any sense as he hurried towards Rodney's quarters.

"I want an explanation and I want it now." Elizabeth stopped Carson.

"I think the alien implant in Rodney's head somehow gave him the ability to move things with his mind, especially when he is angry or hurt. I upset him in the briefing room. He told me he didn't do it on purpose and I believe him. Right now, he is frightened. It must be a scary experience I'm willing to bet that he's afraid of what will happen to him once people find out."

"He's telekinetic?" Elizabeth sounded disbelieving.

"I assume. I can't explain it myself. Right now, all I want is to get him down to the infirmary to run some scans, to make sure he is all right."

The two arrived in front of Rodney's room.

Carson knocked softly. "It's me Rodney. We're not going to send you back to Earth. I just want to make sure that you are all right. Please open the door."

"Go away." Came the answer from inside followed by a crash. Carson winced. Rodney was far too upset.

"Let me come in then. Just talk. You don't have to do anything you don't agree to."

Silence. Elizabeth looked at Carson.

"We need to run tests eventually." She said in a low voice.

"I know. I think he knows that, too. Once he's calmed down, he'll agree."

"I hope you're right. I'm going to get Major Sheppard here. If anyone can get the door open, he can."

"I don't think we should force this." Carson was afraid the situation would escalate and people were going to get hurt. That wasn't what anyone wanted.

* * *

In the end, there was no other choice. John couldn't open the door. Only Zelenka managed to crack the code that Rodney had used to secure it. Rodney was quietly sitting on his bed, watching John, armed with a tranq gun and Carson rushed into his room.

He willingly accompanied Carson to the infirmary. John went with them as an escort, just in case, but Carson waved him off, as they reached the doors. Rodney didn't say a word as Carson put him through an MRI and a CAT scan, both revealed nothing abnormal. Carson had a nurse draw blood to test for viral activity, but the results wouldn't be in until the next day. Medically speaking, Rodney was all right, aside from his lingering viral infection.

"I want to go back to my quarters." Rodney spoke for the first time since he had left his quarters.

"Not yet. I want you to spend the night here. If your blood test comes back all right, you can go tomorrow."

Rodney nodded. "You see now why I can't go back to Earth."

"I understand. I think Elizabeth understands, too. You won't have to go back to Earth. We'll find a way around it. Somehow, we'll get through this."

The End


End file.
